Classic Life Relation of Men, Women & Donkey!

May 13, 2009

Equation 1:
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore, Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Therefore, Human – enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words, Human that don’t know enjoy = Donkey that work

Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore, Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore, Men – earn money = Donkeys
In other words, Men that don’t earn money = Donkeys

Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore, Women = Donkeys + spend
Therefore, Women – spend = Donkeys
In other words, Women that don’t spend = Donkeys

To Conclude:
From Equation 2 and Equation 3
Men that don’t earn money = Women that don’t spend.
So, Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys! (Postulate 1)
And, Women spend not to let men become Donkeys! (Postulate 2)

So, we have?
Men + Women = Donkeys + earn money + Donkeys + spend money
Therefore from Postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!


1st April Ideal Gift

March 13, 2009

We do lots of preparations on what to gift & how to celebrate on the eve of Valentine Day & Friendship Day to our loved ones. But have you ever thought of What you would like to gift on the eve of April Fool to your loved ones? When I asked the same question on LinkedIn I got few good responses, so I thought of asking you all the same. What you will Gift?

Few LinkedIn replies:

  1. A cuckoo clock inside an Easter egg.
  2. Maybe one of those fake instant lottery tickets that claims to be a $10,000 winner and then when you turn it over it says you need to redeem it through Santa Clause.

Let everybody know your naughty idea. How you will fool your loved ones?

  1. Cracking a bad joke
  2. Gifting an empty box
  3. Serving the food with extra salt
  4. Asking them to come at some place to meet & you will not go

Now its your chance. Express your ideas as comments to this post


Original SUV

February 10, 2009

image


IHP’s Laptop Bed Stand – Just for INR 2000

January 20, 2009

Innovative Health Products, Bangalore based Health Care company has introduced Laptop Bed Stand first time in India. This stand is made of solid wood and Unique in its ability to properly position your laptop for reclined computing. Useful for Software Professionals, Lawyers, Doctors, Professors, Students and everybody who uses laptop frequently. Helpful in reducing Neck and Back Pain.

A GREAT option for people with pain or disabilities!

Work @ Comfort.

Why Bed Stand?

  1. Fits all Laptops.
  2. Eliminates overheating.
  3. Bed, sofa & recliner friendly.
  4. Increases your computing time.
  5. Highly adjustable. 
  6. Very stable laptop desk.
  7. Quality components.


Why IHP’s Bed Stand?

  1. First time in India.
  2. Designed for Maximum Comfort.
  3. Fits all Laptops.
  4. Puts Laptop in exact position.
  5. Lightweight & easy to carry.
  6. Used by many persons with health issues or disabilities.
  7. Eliminates Heat on Lap or Legs.
  8. Lowest Price Guarantee.
  9. US & UK prices minimum $100.00

Sample Photos of usage at various places:

Laptopstand3 Laptopstand1

To order Contact:

  Mr. Rajesh Shah

+91 93419 68048, email – raj809@gmail.com

“Price quoted is at what I got this from Mr. Rajesh in one day. Give my reference for better service & fast delivery.”


Fern & the Bamboo

November 26, 2008

One day I decided to quit…

I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality…

I wanted to quit my life.

I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

“God”, I said. “Can you give me one good reason not to quit?”

His answer surprised me…

“Look around”, He said. “Do you see the fern and the bamboo?”

“Yes”, I replied.

“When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water.

The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said.

“In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit..

In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo see.

I would not quit.” He said.

“Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.

Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. ..But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.

It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.

I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle.”

He said to me. “Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots?”

“I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you.”

“Don’t compare yourself to others.” He said. “The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful.”

Your time will come“, God said to me. ” You will rise high

“How high should I rise?” I asked.

“How high will the bamboo rise?” He asked in return.

“As high as it can?” I questioned.

“Yes.” He said, “Give me glory by rising as high as you can.”

I left the forest and bring back this story.

I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.


7 Principles of Eagles

August 22, 2008

Eagles were the symbol of almost all conquerors, be it Caesar or Hitler the reason is!! Read on…..Inspiration from the “7 Principles of an Eagle” Author Dr. Myles Monroe:

1. Eagles fly alone at a high altitude and not with sparrows or mix with other smaller birds like geese. Birds of a feather flock together. No other bird goes to the height of the eagle.

Eagles fly with eagles.

Never in a flock. Even when Moses (Old Testament Bible) went to commune with God on the mountain, he left the crowd at the foothills. Stay away from sparrows and ravens. Eagles fly with eagles.

2. Eagles have strong vision, which focuses up to 5 kilometers from the air. When an eagle sites prey- even a rodent from this distance, he narrows his focus on it and sets out to get it. No matter the obstacle, the eagle will not move his focus from the prey until he grabs it.

Have a vision and remain focused no matter what the obstacle and you will succeed.

3. Eagles do not eat dead things. He feeds on fresh prey. Vultures eat dead animals but not eagles.

Steer clear of outdated and old information. Do your research well always.

4. The Eagle is the only bird that loves the storm. When clouds gather, the eagles get excited. The eagle uses the wings of the storm to rise and is pushed up higher. Once it finds the wing of the storm, the eagle stops flapping and uses the pressure of the raging storm to soar the clouds and glide. This gives the eagle an opportunity to rest its wings. In the meantime all the other birds hide in the leaves and branches of the trees. We can use the storms of our lives (obstacles, trouble, etc) to rise to greater heights.

Achievers relish challenges and use them profitably.

5. The Eagle tests before it trusts. When a female eagle meets a male and they want to mate, she flies down to earth with the male pursuing her and she picks a twig. She flies back into the air with the male still pursuing her. Once she has reached a height high enough for her, she lets the twig fall to the ground and watches it as it falls. The male chases after the twig. The faster it falls, the faster he chases until he reaches it and has to catch it before it falls to the ground, then bring it back to the female eagle. The female eagle grabs the twig and flies to a much higher altitude pursued by the male until she perceives it high enough, and then drops the twig for the male to chase. This goes on for hours, with the height increasing until the female eagle is assured that the male eagle has mastered the art of picking the twig which shows commitment, then and only then, will she allow him to mate with her!

Whether in private life or in business, one should test commitment of people intended for partnership.

6. Eagles prepare for training. When about to lay eggs, the female and male eagle identify a place very high on a cliff where no predators can reach; the male flies to earth and at first, picks thorns and lays them on the crevice of the cliff, then flies to earth again to collect twigs which he lays in the intended nest. Then he picks thorns and lays them on top of the twigs. On them, he lays soft grass covering the thorns and then picks rugs to put on the grass. When this first layering is complete the male eagle runs back to earth and picks more thorns, grass and rugs and lays them on top of the thorns, then plucks his feathers to complete the nest.

The thorns on the outside of the nest protect it from possible intruders. Both male and female eagles participate in raising the eagle family.

The people who love us do not let us languish in sloth but push us hard to grow and prosper. Even in their seemingly bad actions they have good intentions for us.

7. When the Eagle grows old, his feathers become weak and cannot take him as fast as he should. When he feels weak and about to die, he retires to a place far away in the rocks. While there, he plucks out every feather on his body until he is completely bare. He stays in this hiding place until he has grown new feathers, then he can come out.

We occasionally need to shed off old habits & items that burden us add no value to our lives.


Keep the Spark

July 31, 2008

Inaugural Speech for the new batch at the Symbiosis BBA program 2008 © Chetan Bhagat

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college, leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few days in human life when one is truly elated.  The first day in college is one of them.  When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the teachers be like, who are my new classmates – there is so much to be curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not all the time.

Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year old twin boys  have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for birthday party – several months in advance – just for the day they will cut their own birthday cake.

I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when  I see older people,  the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected, aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost.   So how to save the spark?  

Imagine the spark to be a lamp’s flame. The first aspect is nurturing – to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard against storms. To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is possible for you. It isn’t any external measure – a certain cost to company pay package, a particular car or house.

Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big achievement.  

But it isn’t the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr Ambani would not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance anymore. Steve Jobs won’t be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What makes them come to work everyday?  

They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to  interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice, your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that next level is important.  

Nature designed  with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of nature’s design. Are you? Goals will help you do that. I must add, don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.  

You must have read some quotes – Life is a  tough race, it is a marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of those races in nursery school. Where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die.

One last thing about nurturing the spark – don’t take life seriously. One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga practice. The teacher said  – don’t be serious, be sincere. This quote has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism. If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It’s ok, bunk a few classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not programmed devices.

I’ve told you three things – reasonable goals, balance and not taking it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration, unfairness and loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the expected return. If things don’t go as planned or if you face failure. Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill themselves over low grades – how silly is that? But that is how much failure can hurt you.  

But it’s life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease to be a challenge. And remember – if you are failing at something, that means you are at your limit or potential. And that’s where you want to be.

Disappointment’s cousin is  frustration, the second storm.  Have you ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don’t know if you chose the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took me five years to get close to  a release.  

Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it? A realistic assessment of the time involved – movies take a long time to make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment in the process rather than the end result – at least I was learning how to write scripts  , having a side plan – I had my third book to write and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life  – friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too seriously.

Unfairness – this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful faces, pedigree find it easier to make it – not just in Bollywood, but everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than you.  

In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this speech in English means you are pretty darn lucky by Indian standards. Let’s be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what we don’t. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot even imagine it. However, I don’t get literary praise. It’s ok. I don’t look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more beautiful than her. It’s ok. Don’t let unfairness kill your spark.

Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel, may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love yourself first, and then others.  

There you go. I’ve told you the four thunderstorms – disappointment, frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.

I welcome you again to the most wonderful  years of your life. If someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, you eyes will shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive, not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is something cool about saying – I come from the land of a billion sparks.


Realize

July 11, 2008

To realize The value of a sister Ask someone Who doesn’t have one.

To realize The value of ten years: Ask a newly Divorced couple.

To realize The value of four years: Ask a graduate.

To realize The value of one year: Ask a student who Has failed a final exam.

To realize The value of nine months: Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.

To realize The value of one month: Ask a mother who has given birth to A premature baby.

To realize The value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize The value of one hour:Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.

To realize The value of one minute: Ask a person Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize The value of one-second: Ask a person Who has survived an accident…

To realize The value of one millisecond: Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics

Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have. You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend: Lose one.


Irony of Life

July 3, 2008

God created the donkey and said to him. “You will be a donkey. You will work un-stirringly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years.”

The donkey answered: “I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20 years” God granted his wish.

God created the dog and said to him. “You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend. You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years.
You will be a dog. ”

The dog answered: “Sir, to live 30 years is too much,give me only 15 years.” God granted his wish.

God created the monkey and said to him. “You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks. You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. “

The monkey answered: “To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years.” God granted his wish.

Finally God created man and said to him. “You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth. You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals. You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years.”

securedownloadMan responded: “Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little, give me the 30 years that the donkey refused, the 15 years that the dog did not want and the 10 years the monkey refused.” God granted man’s wish.

And since then, man lives 20 years as a man, marries and spends 30 years like a donkey, working and carrying all the burdens on his back. Then when his children are grown, he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house and eating whatever is given to him, so that when he is old, he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey, going from house to house and from one son or daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.

That’s Life. Is’nt it?